Update on me

A friend asked me how I was doing today....
I think Im doing pretty well considering the news we got this week. Its hard to refocus my energy because all the blogs I read, all the plans Ive been making, all my projects and ideas over the last 4 months have been about this baby and right now I cant do any of those things. Instead of doing all of those things Im really trying to do anything and everything to forget Im pregnant, not embrace it. I hate the thought of wearing maternity clothes right now but this morning I couldn’t resist the urge to listen to his little heartbeat. Im doing all these things I think as my own preparation for the worst possible news. I have moments and let me tell you they are fleeting, but there are moments that I think maybe his brain will turn out to be perfect on this next MRI, but I don’t allow myself to go there much. Don’t get me wrong, I pray every day, multiple times a day for that very thing, but mostly right now I’m praying for strength, faith, hope, and acceptance of whatever it is to come. Hopefully, next week will start to bring us closer to a resolution. We should get the amnio results sometime next week and also get our MRI appt set up. Both of those things will really help me to see there is an end in sight.