Thursday, August 12, 2010
I don’t think that it is a coincidence that just a few hours before I went to the doctor Monday morning, when everything still was seemingly perfect, I posted that biblical verse below that is now something I grasp on to as my life line. Certainly the last 4 days have been the darkest days of my life, and even though there is nothing even close to a resolution or conclusion, I am at least starting to feel some since of light at the end of the tunnel. Every day I will start to feel a bit better. I still have lots of moments ahead of me where I want to do nothing but lie in bed and cry, but I have to get up and forge ahead. Even though this is definitely the hardest thing I’ve ever had to deal with, I am still so blessed. My husband has been amazing and I love him even more now and I didn’t even think that was possible. I have a wonderful, supporting circle of friends and family that love Jason and I so much that they are praying as hard as we are that there is somehow a miracle in baby Ethan’s little brain. I have a wonderful job that I love, which right now provides the best distraction I could ask for. This job provides a good life for Jason, myself and Ally. It means that we are able to have a nice home and we never have to wonder if there is food to eat or want for any of the other necessities. Even if the absolute worst scenario related to this comes to fruition, then there are still so many things for me to be thankful for. God has a plan for me, for us and everything we are going through is exactly what he has deemed is correct and perfect for us even though right now it feels like the worst hell that we could imagine. Jason and I are strong and we will get through this. Two weeks seems like a very long time right now, but in the scheme of things, it’s just a blip on the radar. One way or another, this “should” all be over in two weeks. Two weeks…. that’s all! Counting down the hours and minutes as each day that passes!
Posted by RameyRamblings at 8:17 AM