It’s a bit surreal to sit here, 10 days away from Gavin’s birthday (if he doesn’t come earlier)- to know that after over 2 years of working toward this day, that our baby boy is finally scheduled to arrive…. In just 10 DAYS!. It’s been a long time. It’s been hard. It’s been happy. It’s been sad. It’s been a little bit of everything, but here we are. Just 10 days. 1 more OB appt. We’re ready. We have everything packed, washed, cleaned and set to go- now we just WAIT. We are scheduled to induce on Tuesday, January 31st if he doesn’t make his appearance earlier. My gut is that he won’t. I fully expect, have prepared for and am ok with just waiting it out until the 31st. At my last drs appointment I was dilated 1cm. Whoopty doo dah! LOL! Im feeling pretty emotional these days and it seems that the smallest things can set off feelings of wanting to cry. I suppose that is to be expected. I’ve been feeling a bit overwhelmed with the pressures around delivery, how it is going to proceed, how I’m going to feel, what I’m going to be comfortable with, etc. I think I’ve finally convinced myself to just relax and let it play out. I think my family and friends are going to understand and go with the flow of whatever I want. I’m a control freak. I like things to be very planned out, detailed, down to the last dotting of the I and crossing of the T. Unknowns make me nervous. And right now the whole delivery scene is a huge unknown to me so naturally I’ve been nervous about it. Starting to feel better though.
I am excited though that 1.WEEK.FROM.TODAY is my last day of work until Tuesday, May 1st. Holy cow!!! That is crazy to think about. Since I was 16 and started working at Stanley’s I haven’t had more than a few weeks off at a time. It’s absolutely mind boggling to me that I will be off for 13 weeks. I feel very blessed my company offers this benefit but I am still apprehensive about how I will feel with 13 Mondays rolling past where I don’t go into the office. However, every Mom has told me that I’ll be so busy I won’t miss it, so I’ll take their word for it.
This whole process has humbled me so much, to see my body transform and incubate this little human for the past 10 months. I’m sure it’s nothing compared to the awe Ill feel after Im able to actually get him out of my belly and here with us. It is certainly an experience that I will never forget. I feel incredibly blessed that after everything that happened last year, this pregnancy has been so flawless and uneventful. I’m very thankful for that and I hope and pray that the delivery and birth is just as uneventful. I think one of the things that Im most excited about is to see Jason become a dad again. Before Christmas I put together a gift for him that included pictures of Ally from birth -12 years and it was so emotional for me to see the pictures of Jason with Ally just after she was born. I just loved him even more seeing the sense of total adoration on his face in the pictures where he was holding Ally just hours after she was born. I can’t imagine what I’ll feel when I see him with our son. I also think a lot about what this all means for Ally and how I can’t wait to see her with Gavin. Jason and I are giving her the gift of a sibling. Even with the gap in age, it’s a friendship that she will have for the rest of her life that can’t be duplicated with any other friendship. They’re going to have each other, someone to depend and lean on long after Jason and I are gone and I’m very happy they will have each other. Can you tell I’m emotional? LOL!
This will probably be my last pregnancy update so here are some of the details:
Total weight gain: 18-19lbsBelly button: completely flat, pretty much non-existent these days
Size: at my ob appt 2 weeks ago (36w2d) he was 6 ½ lbs and over 18 inches long
Movement: VERY dramatic- when he moves I feel it everywhere- his head is down with his spine laying on my right side. I do feel like he has slowed down in the last 2 days though
Symptoms: lower back pain, major Braxton Hicks, a little more heartburn, definite shortness of breath and of course PEEING ALL.THE.TIME!!!
Sleep: has gotten much more difficult, but with the help of Tylenol PM I’ve been able to combat it pretty effectively J
… and here is one of the last pictures of this big belly.
.... and because none of this would be without him, the last picture of Gavin before we get to see him in person